One Liners

1. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
2. I intend to live forever - so far, so good.
3. I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy.
4. If you ain't making waves, you ain't kicking hard enough.
5. Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
6. Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
7. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
8. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
9. If I work as much as others, I'll do as little as they.
10. Beauty is in the eyes of the beer holder.
11. If everything seems to be going well, you've obviously overlooked something.
12. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
13. Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.
14. Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humour.
15. Parachute: Used only once, never opened. Small stain.
16. Black holes are where God divded by zero.
17. Excuses are like asses, everyone's got them, and they all stink.