Butt Cleavage

Butt Cleavage is defined as: The space between the cheeks of your butt, when the cheeks are squeezed together. Particularly sexy when a female is wearing ultra low-rise jeans and exposes just a little of it. The key word being a little, if too much of it gets expose, you might just gag and lunch might just come flying out your mouth!

'Nuff said.

"Efficient" Postal Service

I do thank the postal services for delivering my mail, but stuff I order online has to go through another group of people who are supposedly able to make delivery faster. However, the service of these people are just appalling. And the delivery services are erratic at best, hopeless at worse.

They arrive in their little delivery van blasting away on their horns, hoping that the whole neighbourhood wakes up to figure out what's going on. They might as well put a rooster on top of their van and get it screeching out the wake-up call, or play the bugle instead! Setting all the dogs barking, cats meowing and whatever else animals growling. Talk about stealth! HA!

Then when they reach your door, they ring the doorbell repeatedly like Mr Bean wanting attention at the clinic. Can't the delivery men get it into their heads that sometimes, elderly people have to walk slower to get to the door, or people might be in the shower and not dressed to answer the door. They expect you to like POOF appear magically in front of the door to collect the package from them.

Why, why, why in the first place did they take over delivery of bringing me my online packages? That's really beyond me. The usual postman was doing such a fantastic job till they showed up.

I guess I'd probably be asking too much if I wanted owls to deliver my mail. Sigh...

The Two Thrones

I've been following this series of computer games ever since it came out a few years back. Prince Of Persia started out with The Sands Of Time. After which, the sequel Warriors Within came out within the next year and finally The Two Thrones ends this exciting trilogy.

For those of us who still remember Prince Of Persia, it started out on our PC as a 2D game where you run from left to right, or from the top to the bottom of the screen, or vice versa. The most interesting aspect of the PC game, at that time, was the traps. You had spikes the shoot out from the wall or floor to skewer you, or you had those buzzsaw blades that runn across your path that you had to avoid. Oh, not to forget the floors, the ones that ensure that you complete the task fast, before the floor falls out from under your feet! And you always had to save some Princess from the hands of some evil protagonist in the game.

Ubisoft is the computer gaming company that has recreated it into a 3rd person PC game, that you can also play on PS2 or XBOX. Of course, it wouldn't be Prince of Persia if you didn't have traps and spikes, but the latest few installments have free-form fighting and also the power to control time.

I won't spoil the game for you too much because you'd have to play it in order to appreciate the trilogy and the beautifully woven 3D computer environment and storyline behind it. Anything that has something to do with playing with time is always intriguing, it worked for the Star Trek series, and it'll certainly work for this one.

8.5 out of 10

Fuck

Do forgive this topic especially if you're under 18 y/o and reading it. It isn't meant as a vulgarity, in fact, quite the opposite, it's meant to educate you into this fascinating word that's used oh-so often 365/24/7.

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colourful words in the English language today is the word "FUCK".

It is the one magical word which, just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate.

In language, "fuck" falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John). It can be an action verb (John really gives a fuck), a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a fuck), an adverb (Mary is fucking interested in John), or as a noun (Mary is a terrific fuck). It can also be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful) or an interjection (Fuck! I'm late for my date with Mary). It can even be used as a conjunction (Mary is easy, fuck she's also stupid).

As you can see, there are very few words with the overall versatility of the word "fuck".

Aside from its sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations.

Greetings: "How the fuck are ya?"

Fraud: "I got fucked by the car dealer."

Resignation: "Oh, fuck it!"

Trouble: "I guess I'm fucked now."

Aggression: "FUCK YOU!"

Disgust: "Fuck me."

Confusion: "What the fuck.......?"

Difficulty: "I don't understand this fucking business!"

Despair: "Fucked again..."

Pleasure: "I fucking couldn't be happier."

Displeasure: "What the fuck is going on here?"

Lost: "Where the fuck are we."

Disbelief: "UNFUCKING BELIEVABLE!"

Retaliation: "Up your fucking ass!"

Denial: "I didn't fucking do it."

Perplexity: "I know fuck all about it."

Apathy: "Who really gives a fuck, anyhow?"

Suspicion: "Who the fuck are you?"

Panic: "Let's get the fuck out of here."

Directions: "Fuck off.

Disbelief: "How the fuck did you do that?"

It can be used in an anatomical description: "He's a fucking asshole."

It can be used to tell time: "It's five fucking thirty."

It has also been used by many notable people throughout history...

"What the fuck was that?" - Mayor of Hiroshima

"Where the fuck is all this water coming from?" - Captain of the Titanic

"That's not a real fucking gun." - John Lennon

"Who's gonna fucking find out?" - Richard Nixon

"Heads are going to fucking roll." - Anne Boleyn

"It does so fucking look like her!" - Picasso

"How the fuck did you work that out?" - Pythagoras

"You want what on the fucking ceiling?" - Michaelangelo

"Fuck a duck." - Walt Disney

"I don't suppose its gonna fucking rain?" - Joan of Arc

"Scattered fucking showers my ass." - Noah

"I need this parade like I need a fucking hole in my head." - John F. Kennedy

All in all, the word FUCK is used so liberally, indiscriminately and extensively that it's included itself into every aspect of our lives. Who can live without it? I guess my swear jar would be filled with cash for every time I heard the word - a helluva way to get rich fast!

Resolution

Last year's New Year Resolution was: "I Don't Give A Rat's Ass!"
Which means just that, I don't care, I don't give a damn, who bloody hell cares. That's what the world is like nowadays anyway. It was great because it was like being in a trance, where you do selective paying attention and listening, weeding out all the good and absorbing the bad, or was it the other way around?

The New Year Resolution for 2006 is: "I'm going to drive someone mad!"
This is an ability that seems to run in my family, call it in the genes if you wish. As my grandma drives me up the wall and around the ceiling and slowly towards the asylum and imagined suicide, so will it be my privilege to carry on this tradition in our family to drive someone else mad. Hopefully, one of my colleagues or best yet, my boss!! It will most certainly be their honour that my family bestows on them!

The New Year hasn't started well for me, I'm still at work! For that, my prescient visions foresee wars, epidemics, killings, sacrifices and all that blight and blinding torment for the whole world. The foggy part in the crystal ball centres around a great flooding to wash away everyone on this planet, so that we can start anew. Hopefully it rains for a year at least.

Oh and the frosty section probably predicts a new ice age around the corner. Nothing good seems to have come out this year, not within these first few hours of 2006 that's for sure.

How disappointing...