Lies We Tell Ourselves!

We all lie to ourselves. Why, I don’t know. I guess self-delusion is part of the human condition, whatever that means. I’m sure a relatively competent shrink can explain it, but who needs all that psychobabble, right?

What got me explaining 5 lies people tell themselves so they can buy stuff they can’t afford: I could have bought something more expensive so I’m actually saving money, it’s an investment, I deserve it because something good happened, I’m comforting myself because something bad happened, that sort of thing.

Now here’s the thing. Usually when we lie to ourselves we’re only hurting ourselves; worst case, our families. But with managers, it’s a whole different ballgame. When managers lie to themselves they can hurt a lot of people. The bigger the title, the more people they can hurt. CEOs can hurt shareholders, employees, and customers by the thousands. Hell, they can take down a whole company. Pffftt... I wish!

I’ve seen self-delusional executives destroy once-great companies lots of times. Sad but true.

But wait, managers are only human, right? They’re allowed to make mistakes. Sure. Mistakes are one thing. But saying things to comfort yourself and prop up your fragile ego so you don’t have to face the truth because it scares you or something is an entirely different thing.

10 Lies Managers Tell Themselves

1. I know what customers want. CEOs often think they know what customers want. Actually they don’t. They just know what they want, and they’re usually not even in the target demographic.
2. We have the best (fill in the blank). Technology, marketing, customer service, whatever. Typically self-delusional BS, boastfulness, or ego transference (if there is such a thing).
3. It’ll fix itself. When they don’t want to do something that’s a pain in the you-know-what.
4. Our customers love us. Usually a way to keep people from asking questions they don’t want to hear so they don’t have to learn the truth that they don’t want to know.
5. My employees love me. Same thing as with customers. Delusions of grandeur.
   
6. Out of sight, out of mind. AKA solving a problem by ignoring it, firing it, or otherwise making believe it doesn’t exist.
7. It’s probably for their own good. Also “they’ll land on their feet.” Usually when they demote or fire somebody, or during a layoff. A blessing in disguise with a silver lining attached.
   
8. The ends justify the means. Comforting themselves when they’ve done something terrible to others.
9. I know what the execs want. He probably doesn’t; he’s just afraid to ask or doesn’t want you to go over his head.
10. It’s my company. In small business, this is often true, but for CEOs of corporations, almost never. So why say it? I don’t know - is there such a thing as ego extension?

So, what’s the solution to the problem? You really need to ask? If you’re a manager, wake the fuck up! Grow a pair and face the truth, and admit that you're wrong, that's the first step to change! Board directors, beware of self-delusional executives.

Anyway, those are my 10 lies, but there must be hundreds. I know you’ve got a few so, come on, spill it.

Lie to me and share...

How To Deal With Morons!

Here are a few phrases to deal with morons and idiots, be it at work or in your daily life:

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.

I love datelines. I especially like the whooshing sound the make as they go flying by.

Am I getting smart with you? How would you konw?

I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

Some day we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.

Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

Last night I lay in bed loooking up at the stars and I thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?!"

My Reality Check bounced.

On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.

You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.

Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.

Evolution?

Evolution is the fundamental drive behind any species. Earth has reached a crisis point for evolution. We cannot evolve further because the planet has become overcrowded. At the same time, animal life and other species of plants can't evolve because of interference from Men. Should we actually save these living things from extinction or should we just let it die out and allow evolution to move on?

Let's assume for a second that Men does not exist in such vast numbers. Let's say, in this make-belief theory, we cut down the population of Man by half. Then we look at all the endangered species of animals, be it, the whales, pandas, birds etc Will they really be endangered or go extinct? What is causing the pandas to die out? Is it because their natural habitat has been destroyed? Is it because their species is just genetically weak at adapting to changes? Or is it because they're just shy and fussy to breed? In the case of whales, it will be less hunting of whales, will that mean that there will be more whales in the oceans? There will be less beaching of whales? Most of the time, it's because the natural habitat of these living things are being destroyed. Man cut down trees and clear the way for freeways, roads, cities, malls etc.

But if you look at it, evolution is also the ability to adapt to your new environment. If, for example, a species cannot adapt to the environment, it will die out completely because it cannot find food or shelter or something else that enables it to live on. Bats are abundant and live in the caves and in the dark. They have a particularly adaptive immune system that prevents them from suffering any ill effects of disease that they pick up. However, if we get bitten by a bat, they can transmit any of those nasty diseases they are holding back to us.

Men are surviving on this planet because of our vast numbers. But we are bleeding all the natural resources of this planet till there's nothing left. One day in the not too distant future, Earth will become an empty husk. Men do not replenish this fuel we use up. Soon there will be no more oil left. Oil is the lifeblood of this planet. We have based our entire transportation system on oil. We need to look towards more imaginative forms of fuel: Giant birds, beaming technology, catapults etc.

Men are an adaptable species, we will not die out because we are able to imagine ways to outwit extinction. We breed in vast numbers and live for long years, well, long enough in one generation to make a difference. The one major flaw for men is that we do not know how to make a self-contained system, in which everything can be recycled and reused. We are always dependable on something else for survival. I guess that's the fate on this planet, every single living thing depends on something else for their survival. Should we colonise the moon, we will still be dependent on Earth for most of the resources, because the moon has nothing to offer whatsoever. If we colonise another planet, say in a few hundreds years, let's hope that new world has new resources we can make use of to power us.

All this might sound science-fiction, but an active imagination allows survival. If we stop imagining, we will cease to become creative, that in turn prevents us from adapting to new circumstances and challenges, and that will eventually put us on the path to extinction.