A Vision Completely Twisted: Dune Read This Book!

At least 1 of my predictions came true when trying to foretell how Sandworms of Dune was going to end. Which prediction was that? The one where the Thinking Machines, with the help of the Oracle of Time, was exiled into the starless universe where the Ithaca started out at the end of Chapterhouse: Dune.

I was completely, totally and utterly disappointed with how the story ended. At least the Harry Potter series ended better than this. I can now say for certain that Frank Herbert's outline was the most basic, in which his son, Brian Herbert and that absolute moron Kevin J Anderson, decided to twist beyond recognition.

I have personally read and confirmed the contents of Frank's final notes for Dune's finale from his secret safe deposit box, which goes:

From: Frank Herbert (aka dad)
To: Brian Herbert (aka son)
Subject: My Most Secret Outline For Dune's Finale...

(1) The mysterious enemies are Thinking Machines.
This probably spawned the prequels and pre-prequels that were written to explain humans hatred of machines.

(2) Honoured Matres are Tleilaxu females aka axolotl tanks.
For the idiots to connect the dots if they haven't seen it already.

(3) Gholas will [illegible scribbles and doodles, unintelligent drawings of spirals]
This probably spawned all those stupid little ghola cast of the original Dune characters.

(4) Use your imagination for the rest, my son...

Love,
Signed,
Frank Herbert (aka dad)

When I first read that Frank Herbert left notes for his Dune novel finale, I was jumping for joy that Dune will finally be completed in the way that he wanted it to be. How wrong I was then. Perhaps, it was foolish to hope that it would have ended the way I wanted it to end.

There is no such thing as ultraspice, Frank Herbert would have had a heart attack or a brain aneurysm if he even learned such an appalling sacrilege. Genetically modified sandtrout (the larvae stage of sandworms), created to live in the oceans of Buzzell as waterworms by a semi-retarded Tleilaxu? Lead character gholas from all of Frank's original 6 books with, strangely enough, the Bene Gesserit sisters who were most important, missing?

I don't even know where to begin to poke holes in the story or to tear the story apart. Even with 2 people writing, they still couldn't capture the essence of the Dune novels that Frank wrote. Granted, they got the sand, the worms and the gholas right, but that's about it. The rest was just pure fantasy added to a rich and amazingly well-woven universe, riddled with unnecessary pretext that convey superior positions of power.

I've always believed that all the Dune novels were, to us who read them, a complete history of the planet Dune. In trying to fumble through writing the prequels and pre-prequels, Brian Herbert and Kevin J Anderson lost sight and became blind to this very fact, thus losing sight of where Frank's Golden Path was leading them, if they were even following it in the first place. I'm surprised that Dune fans haven't taken up arms, gone to the their homes and murdered these 2 authors. Conversely, I'm also surprised that these 2 authors haven't committed suicide yet to escape death at the hands of their fans on the streets.

I've made the mistake of reading several of Kevin J Anderson's novels and was appalled by the complete lack of substance in his books. He destroyed the X-Files, the Star Wars novels and now Dune. On top of that, he's written some horrid sci-fi novels of his own. Brian Herbert, I can't say for sure, but I dare not try to even read his novels.

The real person I pity is Frank Herbert, who started something so beautifully written with such magnificent scope and potential, only to have it torn down by his son and collaborator, out to write utter crap to sell for their personal gain. Sure, I was the fool to have read and followed the Dune series, to see how it ended - I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one. But if I didn't, I wouldn't have known how shit read like.

If you read my earlier review of Hunters of Dune, I did end it by saying that I burnt that book, and to wait for Sandworms of Dune with a flamethrower. Where's that flamethrower? I think I'll reinvent the recipe for greek fire, or black napalm in order to ensure that these hideous books burn its way out of our universe forever!

I also propose that Dune fans unite, gather all copies of this novel and launch it into our sun. And then ensure that Frank's 6 original Dune novels remain forever the ONLY canon to the Dune universe!

1 out of 10 stars