Blame!

Blame, what exactly is blame? The dictionary defines blame as the following:

To hold another person or group responsible for perceived faults real, imagined, or merely invented for pejorative purposes.

Blame is an act of censure, reproach, and often outright condemnation.

Blame is used to place responsibility and accountability for faults on the blamed person or group.

However, I have my own personal definition: blame is the displaced fears of one person projected onto another person in order to alleviate a sense of personal well-being. Thus, I blame you for something I did wrong, so that I don't have to look in the mirror every morning and realise that I made the mistake. It's basic psychology. However, I'm no psychologist, and this is deduced through basic observation of the number of people blaming one another throughout the world.

Let's start small, I blame my brother for misplacing a book I was reading when in actual fact, I'm a scatterbrain, I left the book lying on the table in the bedroom upstairs when I thought it was placed on the coffee table by the television.

At work, when you don't get your projects done on time and correctly, you'll be blamed for its failure. Accountability and ability are 2 completely different things. You may have the ability to complete the project, but are you really accountable for every single thing that goes wrong with it? Is it in essence, your fault that something failed, or when something goes wrong every single time? There are certain things that are well beyond our control. However, nobody seems to believe that fact, so we blame God for it, an imaginary being who is not there - another form of displaced blame!

Governments blame other governments for something that was wrong in their country, so that they don't have to deal with the problem, at the same time, it makes it look like they're actually doing something about it, which they're not. They might be doing something about it, but it's nicer to blame somebody else for their own mistakes and shortcomings.

Most people who enjoy blaming others usually have some kind of inferiority complex, but most of the time, they're just bald - trying to outdo their opponent is a very taxing process indeed! Strangely enough, blame is like a genetic trait that flies around the world like the wind. It is very contagious because when I see someone else blaming someone else, I believe that I can do it too. Blame can mostly be found in developing to developed countries. The more educated you are, the more you know about something, the more blame will reside inside you to release its full potential. Underdeveloped countries tend to have a lesser percentage of the blame "gene", although it is still ever-present in its latent state.

How do we overcome blame? No amount of help or counselling will reduce the blaming that we all carry. Anything that rubs you the wrong way, you will definitely blame somebody else for your bad day.

Blame, we have to learn to live with it. Perhaps blaming is another way the soul copes with stress and in a way, it does relief stress to a certain extent, until reality comes back and slaps you in the face all over again and suddenly you do realise that it is, after all, nobody else's fault but your own!

The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures!

Happy 3rd Annivesary!

This blog is 3 years old today!!

It started off slow, but has really picked up quite a bit in the last year and this year.

I never really expected it to last so long.

Well, now I'm glad it did and am hoping for many more years to come!

Thank you everyone who has visited or contributed in one way or another!

Happy 3rd Anniversary!

Tempting Heart

I'm not an advocate of Mandarin movies, because most of the time they can get rather nonsensical and witless. However, once in a blue moon, a movie comes along that someone introduces to me and I was lucky to have the chance to watch it.

Yes, it is a rather old one from 1999 and it is a Mandarin/Cantonese film, and I got to watch the DVD in Cantonese, but hey, there are some lovely ones out there that nobody we don't know about and are not represented widely enough. Then again, I guess we tend to identify with romantic movies which touch our hearts better than others do.

This is a beautifully written and directed, romantic love-story, but it was done it a very abstract manner, in that scenes from the past, present and future were all intermixed and woven together like a tapestry to tell the entire story. Meaning, there could be a scene from when the characters were in the future, and then another from their past and then another in the present. It is up to you to figure out which period they were in and piece the movie together. There were times when I was confused, but in the end, all the questions were answered.

Not many movies make me cry, but this love triangle plot had such beauty in it, it told the human side of love and how close it comes to hitting home sometimes, you just cannot resist not feeling emotional when watching it.

Takeshi Kaneshiro stars as Ho-jun, a shy teenager who falls in love with Gigi Leung's character Xiao rou. Their relationship turns intimate but faces objections from their parents. Karen Mok plays Chen-li, the best friend of Gigi, whom Gigi confides in and tells all her problems.

This teenage love soon fizzled and Ho-jun turns to marry Chen-li. Chen-li then reveals that she and Ho-jun have been in love with the same girl Xiao rou. Xiao rou also gets married. She only later finds out that Ho-jun's wife is Chen-li, but only discovers this after Chen-li has died.

Chen-li left a message for Xiao rou, asking her for forgiveness. As Xiao rou prepared to fly back to Hong Kong from Japan, Ho-jun gives her a present. Inside the box were photographs, each taken when Ho-jun was thinking about Xiao-rou of their brief and bright moments of happiness.

What I loved most about this movie was this last scene, when she opens the box containing the photographs which were taken when Ho-jun was thinking about her. Who hasn't done that for their loved ones in one way or another? To capture a moment in time, through photography or otherwise, in which this same photo will trigger your memory of what you were actually thinking of at that moment in years to come.

Here is the love theme from the movie, also titled Tempting Heart, or Xin Dong. It is sung by Shino Lin Xiao Pei. Even if you don't know the lyrics, the music itself is really beautiful and touching. I've included the lyrics and the lose translation below.

This is a highly recommended movie for all romantics out there. The characters are believable and very easy to identify with and the acting is very powerful by the 3 lead actors.

9 out of 10 stars

You Duo Jiu Mei Jian Ni
(How long have I never seen you?)

Yin Wei Ni Zai Na Li
(I thought you were there)

Yuan Lai Jiu Zhu Zai Wo Xin Di
(In fact you're just deep inside my heart)

Pei Ban Zhe Wo De Hu Xi
(Accompanying my breath)

You Duo Yuan De Ju Li
(How far is the distance?)

Yi wei wen bu dao ni qi xi
(I thought I can't smell you)

Shui Zhi Dao Ni Bei Ying Zhe Me Chang
(Who knows your shadow is so long)

Hui tou jiu kan dao ni
(Once I turn around I see you)


Chorus:
Guo qu rang ta guo qu
(Let the past go)

Lai bu ji / Cong tou xi huan ni
(It's too late to love you from the start)

Bai yun chan rao zhe lan tian
(As if clouds are covering the blue sky)

Ru guo bu neng gou yong yuan dou zai yi qi
(If we can't be together forever)

Ye zhi shao gei wo men
(Give us at least)

Huai nian de yong qi
(the courage to miss)

Yong bao de quan li
(The right to hug)

Hao rang ni ming bai
(So that you understand)

Wo xin dong de hen ji
(The trace of my heart moving)


Zong shi xiang zai jian ni
(Always wish to see you again)

Hai shi zhe da tan ni xiao xi
(I even attempt to inquire your news)

Yuan lai ni jiu zhu zai wo de shen ti
(In fact you're just living in my body)

Shou zhu wo de hui yi
(Guarding my memories)

The Final Season Has Began!

The final season of Battlestar Galactica began and the first 10 minutes was enough to glue you to your seats for the rest of the season!

I don't know if any of you were listening to the background music, but about 8min 29secs into the show, there was this part where Anders was flying in a Viper and the Cylon Raider was flashing its red eye at him and there was a "red eye" moment for Anders, the music suddenly changed to something akin to gamelan music, with bass, just till the Cylons retreated.

Gamelan music is music from Indonesia, be it Javanese or Balinese, it involves deep gongs, brass percussion instruments and chimes played together in an orchestra of at least 65 instruments. The music in the show was just 3 notes, I think it was something like E, C, F, followed by drum beats and it just repeated itself, that was deeply profound for Bear McCreary to compose music like that!

Even the opening sequence has also changed, the Cylons don't have a plan anymore, everyone wants to find the Final 5 Cylons, and we know who 4 of them are.

Here's something from the Simpsons to give you an idea of the parody of the series, toasters indeed!

Hunting For Books @ Borders

I'm sure that anyone out there who enjoys books makes it a point to step into the many Borders Books & Music around the world. I've personally been to several Borders stores around the US. I have to say, I'm impressed by the standardisation of all the designs, layout and bookshelves in each and every one of the stores, even the smell of the store is the same throughout the world, trust me on this, I do remember the smell! However, there is one fatal flaw in all the stores, and that's in the way they shelf their books.

I can almost NEVER be absolutely sure which category the book I'm looking for is shelved in when I visit Borders. I know that different bookstores will have their own little categorisation and methods in which to shelf their books. However, the way the book is classified is sometimes determined by the author, it is mostly found in the copyright page (the first few pages) of the book, under which category it belongs to, and thus where it should be shelved. I also know for a fact that Borders gives their own categories and completely ignores this, even the ISBN number of the books have been pasted over with the Borders price tag and separate barcode.

Take for example, Anne Rice, her books are mostly about Vampires, in other bookstores, her books are shelved under Horror. If I go to the Horror section in Borders, oh wait, there's no Horror section in Borders. Anne Rice has been shelved under General Fiction. Another example is Gregory David Robert's autobiography Shantaram is found under Biographies/Literature in some other bookstore, but shelved under General Fiction. So, General Fiction is like a dumping ground for books that can't seem to be categorised, or at least, where the category simply doesn't exist in Borders.

Tell me, how does one go to find the book then? I can almost hear you all shouting to me,"Go ask the sale staff and do a computer search!; Or use the Borders data terminal to do a book search!" Ah... but that's precisely what I did. That brings me to how Borders categories confuse even their staff!

I asked the staff to search for a book, Jeff Lindsay's Dexter In The Dark. They say there're 2 copies left and bring me to the section, under Mysteries. Lo and behold, the book's not there, but the computer says it's there and there are 2 copies somewhere in the store. Are we going to get all the Borders staff to drop everything and search all the shelves for the book I want? No, the staff apologises nicely, and tells me that sometimes not all the books are on the shelves where they're suppose to. I thank the sales staff for her help and walk around. I later find the book under New Fiction, and it turns out the book wasn't a hardcover, it was a large tradepaperback edition.

I also have to bear in mind that Borders has this policy to let customers read books, so not all books are always put back where they need to be placed. So when the next person comes looking for the book, be it sales staff or customer, they might not find it.

I won't fault different bookstores for their flaws in shelving their books, however I do believe a new system should be put in place. Perhaps if they number their bookshelves in the stores, it will be easier to find books even in their computer system. If it says shelf B3 or something, then the book has to be on shelf B3. However, it might not always work with books not being placed back in their proper shelves.

This is a losing game, to make a bookstore as efficient as possible when looking for books, you might have to turn them all into how libraries shelf their books and tada, bookstores and libraries will be one and the same. Then again, a library is not much different from Borders, the only difference is that if you want the book at Borders, you have to buy it.

The Dogs They Are

The other day, I was walking to the library. A very interesting thing happened. Someone happened to be standing around the corner and was leisurely waiting/walking. Suddenly, she barked,"Angus, Angus, come, what are you doing there, come, come, COME!"

I assumed that she was calling out to her dog, who was probably left behind, or had found a little spot to do its business. How wrong I was! Around the corner, who came running desperately to the calls was a young 3 year old boy!

This wasn't the first time I've encountered this. There are times when I'm commuting, and I hear,"Sit, sit! You sit still, don't move, just SIT!" When you hear that, you naturally assume that the person shouting was trying to discipline his/her pet, be it a dog or cat or another animal. No, it was the complete opposite. It was a little boy or girl they were asking to sit down properly in the seats of a bus or train, because they couldn't behave themselves.

It's scary to actually see the association where a mom or dad calls out to their kids in the same way as they call out to their pets! What are parents doing nowadays? Let's draw a few parallels between their beloved children and their pets. I couldn't tell the difference, could you?

The Pets
1) They feed their pets.
2) They train their pets.
3) They discipline their pets.
4) They play with their pets.
5) They call out to their pets.
6) They clean up after their pets (not all of them do!).
7) They put their pets in "hotels" to get taken care of.

The Kids
1) They feed their kids.
2) They teach their kids.
3) They discipline their kids.
4) They play with their kids.
5) They call out to their kids.
6) They clean up after their kids (not all of them do!).
7) They put their kids in day-care centres.

Here are some of the more commonly heard words used by parents to call their kids/pets.

1) Sit!

2) Stand still!

3) Sit still!
4) Come on!
5) Hurry Up!
6) Where are you? Come to mommy/daddy!
7) Why so slow?
8) Move faster!
9) Shut up!
10) You can't pee/shit there!

If you were a blind person walking along the streets or commuting on a bus or train, it is so easy to mistake a call for a pet and a call for the kids.

Perhaps it will only take someone to point it out before the fine lines between the 2 completely different creatures become seamless and blurred beyond recognition!

How completely embarassing!

Melee - Built To Last

Built To Last

I've looked for love in stranger places,
but never found someone like you.
Someone whose smile makes me feel I've been holding back,
and now there's nothing I can't do.

'Cause this is real, and this is good.
It warms the inside just like it should,
but most of all it's built to last.

All of our friends saw from the start.
So why didn't we believe it too?
Whoa yeah, now look where we are.
You're in my heart now.
And there's no escaping it for you.

'Cause this is real, and this is good.
It warms the inside just like it should,
but most of all it's built to last.

Walking on the hills that night with those fireworks and candlelight
You and I were made to get love right

'Cause this is real, and this is good.
It warms the inside just like it should,
but most of all it's built to last.

'Cause you are the sun in my universe,
considered the best when we've felt the worst
and most of all it's built to last.

I just couldn't get this song out of my head after listening to it. It has elements of Keane in it, but it's completely independent from every other group. An upbeat and most enjoyable song to listen to.

It can be considered a soon-to-be timeless classic...

This Or That?

I've been thinking of changing my mobile phone for the longest time now. I'm a Sony Ericsson user and haven't had much problems with their phones since I started oh-so long ago using the T-28 model, my first mobile phone.

Now, I'm presently using the Z510i, a lovely clam-shell phone that unfortunately gave me the white screen of death twice now. Meaning, I can receive calls and text messages, but can' seem to see who's sending them to me. It's just a white screen. SE service centre says it's some cable. It's still at the repair show now, but the repair costs are rather expensive because the warranty ran out last year.

Most handphones last about 2 years max, thereafter, either we get new ones to replace the old ones or they just slowly give you problems till they die a natural death, especially the Nokia phones. Sorry to all you Nokia fans, but it's a fact, their phone do start giving problems and dying out after about 2 years. Most of my friends have had that problem.

The next SE phone that caught my eye is the W910i. It's a slider phone and it seems to have won some sort of award as mentioned on the www.gsmarena.com website. I don't know if I should upgrade yet, but it's very tempting as the price plans are not overly expensive and falling with every month.

At the same time, ever since the company that I work for blocked access to ALL emails (Hotmail, Yahoo, Gmail etc), Facebook, MySpace, YouTube and many, many other websites, I've been aching to get a Blackberry, so that my email can be retrieved instead of waiting till the end of the day at home. It's frustrating that I cannot receive personal emails and am only able to receive work emails from the office. There's absolutely no morale to work till the end of the day, no light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak.

My friends recommended me the Blackberry Curve 8320. It's about the same price as the W910i, but might have to go a but pricier with the 'push' mail plan. I've never used a Blackberry before, but perhaps it's time to try and there's always a first time for everything.

There are of course pros and cons out there to both phones, but if anyone who visits this blog owns either of these models and can help me choose one of the other (not both!), I would appreciate any feedback in my comments section.

Thanks a bunch!